You Can't Take It With You...

There is a reason the hearse does not have a trailer hitch on it. I have heard many funny stories about people trying to take their money with them when they die. The punch line usually has the widow leaving the deceased with a debit card or the checkbook in the coffin. I used to work with a guy that wanted the funeral coach to pull a U-Haul when he died just to make people talk. Egyptian pharaohs were buried with their treasures, pets, and servants. The truth is, you cannot take it with you when you have shuffled off this mortal coil. In the Christian religion we believe we go to a better place where our worldly possessions are no longer needed. I am writing this in January, and it seems there are always a lot of people that pass during the holidays and winter months. If you lost someone this year, I am truly sorry and this is not meant to stir up any sad memories. Death is unavoidable and we will all have to deal with it. Benjamin Franklin said, “In this world nothing can be certain, except death and taxes.” Not wanting to get political, I thought it was a good time to talk about death. 

              Since we can’t take it with us, we need to plan ahead. I recommend talking to your banker. We cannot do everything you need but we deal with death a lot and have seen the best ways people have planned. If you have accounts at the bank or a safe deposit box, make sure you have other people added as owners. A will or a trust is also good to talk to your attorney about. If you plan to gift money or property to your descendants or charities, talk to your accountant on the best way to do this without paying too much in taxes. Finally, talk to your family about your wishes. It is a tough subject but do it early, openly, and often. I hear too many stories about stubborn people not wanting to deal with it or they think they will live forever. If you don’t plan for death, your family might deal with a mess. They may even have to sell the farm you worked hard for just to pay taxes. 

              Death is sad. There are people I know that have kicked the bucket I wish I could have had just one more conversation with. It reminds me of the saying, “It’s not the fall that will kill you; it is the sudden impact when you land.” When people finally pass it is the sudden impact of not having them there anymore. You never know when it will happen and you don’t always get to say goodbye. We miss the person that used to talk about life, always be there for family events, call randomly, or just be that annoying neighbor that made you smile. No matter how you live your life you do make an impression on other people. My wife shakes her head, but I always try to say hi to my neighbors when I see them outside. I am probably in the annoying category people talk about. 

              Death can be a good and fun celebration life.  One of my favorite movies is ‘Big Fish’. The main character in the movie has a father that told big stories his whole life. At his father’s funeral everyone got together and compared notes, and most of them were true. Remembering good times and hearing memorable stories takes the sting out of loss. Funerals do bring families together for a purpose. My grandpa, Banker Frank, used to say, “We are losing all the characters in this world,” when his friends passed. He had a lot of great friends with good stories. The type that got bigger with age. Is it the stories that make a person’s life or does their life make good stories? Either way we must keep telling them to make us smile and remember. 

              I am looking in the mirror when I write this as well. I need to do some planning in my life so when I ‘resume room temperature’ my wife & kids know what to do and who gets my comic book collection. I told my wife that I want to be cremated, and part of my ashes be put into a big firework explosion on the 4^th of July, my favorite holiday. She is younger so I just assume I’ll die first. I also have requests for my funeral and viewing. One is to have a word search or crossword puzzle on the back of the program. Maybe it’s my ADD but I don’t know what to do at funerals during the beginning when everyone is quiet and we are waiting for the big box to roll in. I know funeral directors have a good sense of humor as well. I was at one where a young man couldn’t get his tie tied. The funeral director said he could help him out, but he would have to lie down. Make the best of life and death, we only get one of each. On a side note, I did learn the mortician’s handshake from my in-laws. If you don’t know that one yet, ask me sometime. 

-Adam Frank Bruning, Loan Officer-