What is Patience?

I read a good quote that sounds like parenting, “Patience is like a gift card. I’m not sure how much is left on it, but we will give it a try.” We all joke about “testing our patience” with children, spouses, friends, family, and work. Is patience quantifiable? Some people seem to have unlimited amounts of it, and I know some, like me, we will just say I need to learn from those that have “the patience of a Saint”. 

The Bible says that patience is a virtue and a fruit of the spirit. It is also the ability to overlook offenses and to suffer through the imperfections of others with a smile. This explains why people smile and walk away from me sometimes. Being virtuous and showing patience does build one’s character. Maybe that is why moms and grandmas have the most patience; they have had to raise children which not only tests patience but also have to pass on the virtue through your actions. Nurses, teachers, and religious leaders are the ones I think about as well. They all have patience in dealing with people, teaching and caring for them as well. I was going to say coaches, but my high school football coach threw clipboards. 

What about dealing with yourself? The lack of patience can be considered laziness. I had a discussion with a friend about patience. He described it as “being deliberate and doing everything like you mean it”. Every job needs to be done and done right. Cutting corners and doing things too quickly can cause problems in the long run. Even rolling up a hose the wrong way can cause future problems and your own frustration fighting the hose. Time gets in the way of patience as well. When is the last time you said, “I don’t have time to deal with this today?” Time is the most valuable commodity and as our lives become more complicated, there is less of it. Limited time causes us to be less patient with everything because we have decided we don’t want to be bothered with it. 

Patience plays a key role in discussions about waiting. In today’s world of Amazon, online banking, and microwave meals, we’re no longer accustomed to waiting the way we once did- like when ordering from the Sears catalog meant weeks of anticipation. Patience is a crock pot, slow smoked meat, wine aging delayed satisfaction. My kids can’t wait for their birthday again, dessert, or stay at home Saturday when we make pancakes. Slowly they are learning to wait just four more sleep until pancake day. Then we have bigger things in life like weddings, babies, and sometimes test results from a doctor. I was a patient this year a couple times. Nothing serious, but I had limited mobility for a while. I couldn’t drive and had to get a lot of help from family and friends until my legs healed up. I learned a lot about waiting and being grateful for my health and mobility. My wife took the biggest load, taking care of the kids, helping me get around, and dealing with a house remodel. We all learned a lot about patience. 

Is patience quantifiable? I don’t think so- maybe more of a tolerance. I do think it is a characteristic you can learn. Possibly a lifelong lesson. To those that have it, I do have a lot of respect for you the more I learn about it. I have seen people go through tougher times than I have, testing their faith and patience. You can learn a lot from those people. When my kids are being a deal, demanding things, throwing tantrums, and just being kids, I must think about those who are patiently waiting in the hospital or maybe in the emergency room not knowing the answers. Guns ‘N’ Roses even wrote a song about patience- I must sing in my head sometimes when I get frustrated and try to do the best at what can be done. True patience does lead to positivity if your mind can look for the best-case scenarios. My friend Nick said it best, “Dwelling on negatives, even hypothetical ones, is the worst way a person can waste time. So, I patiently wait for things to happen, as they are going to happen or they are supposed to happen.”

- Adam Frank Bruning, Loan Officer -